Why do Post-Doc Docs fuckining suck ass? I knew something was wrong. My wife knew something was wrong. And all he could do was give the facts.
Our favorite line was "No one called you about the PET scan results?"
2 neck lymph nodes were positive for PET. Then my Onco came in and discovered another swollen node in my armpit that wasn't there during the PET in early June. It may be Hodgkins. It may be infection/left over mono issues. But she doesn't want to take any chances.
I scheduled an MRI. July 7th. 1AM. If they can visualize them then they come out.
So I'm gonna wallow in self pity a bit before my wife gets home......good excuse too have a whiskey no?
If it's Hodgkins I'm fucked. And just this week I decided to stop being honest about why I've been out of work. Figuring it's no big deal. The shit is curable and I have my own health coverage. No need to discriminate against me. I can't possibly estimate how many jobs I've applied for........7-10 yesterday. I do know how many responses - 3 calls, 1 interview.
I'm damaged goods. I had the opportunity to tell Mr. Moore my story and maybe have a bit in his current movie. I chose discretion. I think I chose wrong.
Fuck it. Fuck it all.
That felt good.