Wednesday 12/21/05
Day before Chemo.
Vicodin doesn't really seem to help my insomnia. I've decided to sleep whenever I can. Hoping to get 8-10hrs/day. I lay on the couch and seem to be on the razors edge between awake & not. Kind of dreaming but conscious. Kind of..................drugged? It's the fatigu and drug working on me.
My Fatigue & shortness of breath seem worse. I can't walk 30 minutes without having to rest. I seem to still have most of my hair but my facial hair has stopped growing dramatically. I have scruff but I can't remember the last time I shaved. The tip of my tongue is sensitive. Spicy foods are too much.
Monday & Tuesday night I decided to help the Vicodin with some Makers Mark. I had half a shot on Monday. I crashed at 12:30AM, way earlier then usual. I wake up at 10AM. That Was Awesome! And I feel fine........except for a little toothache. I pop a vicodin.
I really don't remember much of Tuesday. I think everything is just kind of melting together. Oh wait.............we went christmas shopping and grocery shopping. Victoria's Secret at Pentagon City can kiss my ass. Bunch of dumbasses work there. Didn't do much else. Tuesday night, around 1AM I make myself a Makers Mark drink. I mean, I poured some Makers Mark in an empty Rocks Glass and drank it. Wow. I'm feeling really good. I decide it would be best to go to bed. I immediatly crash and start dreaming. I pull my self out of that semi-unconscious state. And mumble to Dani "Too much alcohol might not be a good idea." I crash and wake up around 10AM.
Wednesday I did nothing. We drove to Safeway and bought Gatorade. It's a 15min walk but we needed to get enough to last me until Monday. I drink three-four 32oz bottles a day. Didn't want to carry all that.
Random thoughts coming out - I eat so much and am just maintaining my weight. I'm a 5'8", 152lb hella sexy man! OK. I've had 2 beers but no Vic. since 5ish. Might not have another one tonight. Dani bakes cookies, chocolate chip, all the time. I don't usually have an appetite but I eat 3 meals a day and eat "crap" after dinner. Cookies, Ice Cream, whatever. All Organic, mind you.
Side note - to those who have heard "Sugar feeds Cancer" I say Thppppppppppppt! I don't get a lot of sugar and maintaining your weight=healthy=kicking cancers ass. It's probably the most important thing you can do while fighting Cancer. I probably wouldn't eat enough if it wasn't for Dani. God Bless her.
Dani gets so excited when I want something fattening to eat. I can gobble her cookies in no time.
I've gone on a sausage fixation lately. Haven't had it for years. Mind you, whatever I eat, Dani knows the Farm it came from and probably the farmers. Not even sure if it's fattening. It's healthy, it's full of protein, I'll be done with HL in no time.
I do hate Wednesday b/c I'm starting to hate Treatment Thursdays. It takes too long and it doesn't feel great. Especially the last drug. You just want to pull out the IV to stop the discomfort.
Oh well, Christmas is almost here! Yay. we have a beautiful Tree and I think this will be the most wonderful christmas ever. On that note, Goodnight.
Peace.
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