Sunday, April 30, 2006

I Feel Like Ass/Steroid Effects

DEXAMETHASON: Catabolic Steroid. Some Effects: Loss of Calcium from bones, potassium, protein, immune suppression. Weight Gain, increased appetite, salt retention, irritability, nervousness, insomnia, indigestion, fatigue, weakness. And Diverticulitis "may be a problem with this drug".

I think that steroid is as toxic as my chemo drugs. Explains why I can feel like I want to vomit and am hungry at the same time.

FRIDAY 4/28/06
Every Friday after chemo we would go to Whole Foods and get something tasty for my dinner. The IV of Zofran & Dexamethasone held off the nausea symptoms until at least the next day. No chance of that this time. By the time we started eating at 6PM (less than 2hrs after treatment) my taste buds were going quick and my stomach was starting to tell me things were not gonna be easy. I had to pop a Zofran right after dinner and lay down. If I was a normal person I might have vommited. But I really would rather not. I was exhausted and couldn't sleep. I attempted to go to bed around midnight, still feeling nauseas. It was too early for another Zofran. I was ready to pop some Sominex when Dani suggested Lorazepam...

Lorazepam, Evil relative of Valium (Diazepam). Has a "High" addiction rate. Used for anxiety and for chemo patients to treat insomnia & nausea. I can use it in conjunction with Zofran. I have a 1mg script. The lowest dose is .25mgs. I used it 3 treatments ago for the first time. By the 3rd day I woke up feeling like a Blob-O-Jello that went on a bender. Feeling like that without the help of alcohol the night before sucks sooooooooo bad. I was a zombie all day. I decided the nausea and insomnia was a party compared to the Lorazepam and stopped taking it.

After my next treatment the nausea and insomnia was worse. reluctantly, I started back on Lorazepam. Took it for 5 days. My body seemed to adjust to it. Or I got used to the Blob feeling?

It still took some convincing on Dani's part for me to start up on Lorazepam again, but not much. I also popp a pepcid and some stool softeners, of course. I slept about 5-6hrs straight. Woo-Hoo.

Wake up and pop a Zofran. I feel nauseas all day and weak. Don't think I did anything. It's beautiful out but I have no energy. I force Dani out into the night. A friend's Band was playing tonight and we said we were gonna go. I don't feel horrible but I can't drink, and I still have to worry about my Low Cell Count. The Chemo must have really helped that out. ;) I wasn't supposed to take Neupogen shots after my last treatment. The plan was to let my immune system recover on its own. but with low counts, the Fellow recommended that I continue on with it.

So I don't want to be around a lot of people in a smoky club. I get to stay home. yay. dani comes home smelling like a club. Man I miss that smell! Cabin fever is driving me crazy! I popped a Zofran and Lorazepam, pepcid, stoll softeners, and hit the hay.

I wonder if I could do the "Twelve Days of xmas" with drugs?

I sleep about 8-9hrs with only 1 wake up. Yay!

Insomnia is a problem. I rarely sleep through, waking up several times each night. All these drugs just wreaking havoc on me.

I wake up alone at 1030. dani is at the Farmers market. I feel really nauseas and pop a Zofran. It won't help much. I don't want to go to market but Dani brings home a few bags of Free Fresh Food every Sunday. I go to help carry home the Loot. I'm almost making a conscientious effort to not vomit as I walk down to Dupont Circle. it's 15-30minute walk. Depending on how good I feel. Today was 30minutes. I get there and eat one of Lorries famous Blueberry Scones. Best Scone I've ever had. eric is always wonderful and, in Dani's words: "spoils me". At the end of market we fill up on lots-o-goodies and head home.

This almost constant feeling of nausea sucks ass. I will be so much happier when it's gone. Dani is still somehow feeding me 3x/day, with nausea and lack of taste and all. it can only get better from here, eh?


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