Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Lighting up Like a Christmas Tree/No Progression

Monday, 9/17
The day of my post 2 cycle CT scan. This will tell us if the chemo's working. The "thing" in my throat is worse. I have difficulty swallowing and the urge to vomit the "thing" up after every swallow. Once at the hospital, I chug the first half of my Barium Shake. I excuse myself and walk with fist in front of mouth, concentrating, to the bathroom. I'm trying not to vomit. Never happened before. It's the "thing". In the bathroom I run the water and do that pre-vomit cough. Thankfully though, I don't vomit. back with Dani, I take a sipping approach to the rest of my "shake". It goes down slightly better. In the room I get the always fun Barium enema and a barium IV. For the first time ever, a CT tech misses my vein. Twice. She's done me many times before. Are my veins going to shit? She gets another tech in. Two is the "ethical" limit. New guy gets me first try. They do the scans, then my abdomen a second time. That should have set off an alarm but I missed it somehow.

Once home we get a call from the research RN. "Informing" me that I have Diverticulitis. Somedays a situation calls for the mental cliche statement of "No Shit, Sherlock." doubly so since it's diverticulitis. I had been experiencing a flare up. It happens on occasion. But it must've made my abdomen glow like a christmas tree for the CT scan. Techs were thinking Cancer and saw my abdomen just exploding with activity. Must've freaked them out enough to call my doc ASAP. LOL! :D

Tuesday, 9/18
In to see my doc and discuss the scan. I'm given a copy and we go over it together. To a laymen there is conflicting data on my report. Then I focus on the summary:

NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE PROGRESSION.

Just then my doctor summarizes it in human terms:

NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE

Dani and I do the "what? Huh? what do we....what does this mean? Huh?

It means we continue treatment. CT sees no disease but PET might. But this is good news. Really good news. We both were thinking the worst. It was hard not to. The worst part about it was the thought of leaving Dani alone, a widow. I would do anything to not have that happen. She doesn't deserve that. And now I might have another reprieve. Another real lease on Life.

And after i drop Dani off, I smiled. I don't remember the last time I smiled out of the blue. Probably not since before June. But I couldn't stop. And to be truly honest, I couldn't stop the tears. Not that I want to.


peace.

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