Home Invasion!

Scene: Our Second floor apartment, back bedroom. 8PMish, just after sunset. Dani & Phil decide to take a nap. Both a little inebriated. We turn off all the lights. She is on the bed, stage Left. I'm to the right. Both of us are on our backs. Iggy is on the open windowsill. Shade up, There's a nice breeze. The door security gate is open.

We weren't asleep for long when all of a sudden Iggy jumps off the windowsill onto Dani, waking us both up before he hits the floor hard. We both think "how odd." I look at Dani thinking "I should close the gate."

Dani turns to me and whispers "There's someone out there." I get a vibe that sends a chill down my spine and adrenalin starts pumping through me.

In a single bound I'm over her and land in front of the door. And there, crouched down on all fours is a figure, looking like he was trying to jimmy the lock. I realize instantly that a hard kick to the door and he's in. I lunge at the door and start screaming obscenities while dialing 911 on my phone. The dude takes off down the stairs and over the 7ft fence where another was waiting.

Cops arrive within a few minutes but I assume they got away.

Needless to say, we're a little freaked out.

Pain

THURSDAY EVENING
My root canal tooth is acting up again. Why? I call my Onco Nurse at 3PM. I need clearance to get my dental work completed. My doctors out of town until Friday. I pop some Tylenol. At 7PM I pop 2 Percocets and start drinking. I think maybe the pain is from using it - it's become increasingly difficult to not. But what if its infected?

The percocet don't help much. Dani makes me an ice pack. We go to bed at 1030. I'm up at 1130. I pop 2 more percocet and drink some more. Back to bed at 1230. Up at 330. Pop my last percocet. I'll be done with my whiskey soon. It's 415. And yet I can't stop the pain. I fight the tears. I'm ready to slice into my gum again. I'd kill for relief.

Fuck my Onco. I'm calling my dentist first thing in the morning.

I don't fucking deserve this. Who does?

Priceless II

1 Half-smoke*: $5.50
2 Harp Draft Beers: $13.00
4 Primo National seats at RFK Stadium. Donated to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society: Priceless.


The St. Louis hat is for Mother-in-Law. :D

Wednesday I received an email from the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) about some donated tickets to the Friday Nats game against the Giants - first come, first serve. I shot an email back immediately and scored. They were shipped overnight. Four tickets, section 222, row 8, seats 5-8. Right behind 3rd base. $50 dollar tickets. Each. I'm not big into baseball but what is more American than a baseball game in the Capital? It's a cliche like none other.

I hadn't seen a game since Little League. Cleveland Stadium. Bored out of my mind. Likewise, Dani hadn't seen a game since childhood and felt the same way. But I really wanted to see a game. I wanted to see one in RFK before they move to the new stadium next year. I was worried it was a chemo day but I really wanted to go. After my chemo cancellation, My onco said enjoy. Wash your hands a lot and don't eat uncooked from from any source but home. So Why not? Our friend Erin is big on baseball so we invited him along with a date. I was shocked at our view even though I looked up the seats before we got there:


Of course, once we found our seats I had to go get food. Gotta have a dog at a baseball game and I wasn't gonna wait for a vendor. Not for my first. And since it was DC, I opted for a half-smoke*. I was in Cliche heaven when I got back to my seat. Erin and his date had shown up by then and there we sat. He brought some crap to share and we had beer. And, surprisingly, we really enjoyed ourselves. Being that close, we felt connected to the game. It was an awesome time.


Of course, the beer helps. And from that point on we ordered from vendors. But it wasn't boring at all. And what would a Nats game be without the Presidential Race? I fergit who won:


followed by the Presidential-Dance-on-the-Dugout, of course (???)


And a lot of the fun was hoping for foul balls from lefties. They hit all around us, one very close, but no luck


And one action shot from the pitcher:


We were bummed Berry Bonds didn't play that night. We were all hoping to boo him like everyone else. How fun would that be? Oh well. The Nats lost 3-2. It was a tight game and people were leaving before the final inning. If I had seats like that, I would never leave until it was over. And we didn't. And we waited until the stadium cleared out. Why Fight? As we walked to metro we noticed a huge line. And cops holding everyone back from the metro escalators. Crowd control into metro. I thought we were fucked. But Erin, being RFK savvy, suggested we walk to the North Entrance of the same Metro stop. Sure enough, no lines. Beautiful.

All in all a beautiful night. Dani and I had an awesome time. And we were able to forget all our troubles. And that was truly priceless. Thank you, LLS.

*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Half-smoke

Back To Hell [C,L]

THURSDAY, 8/23/07

I wake up in horrible pain. A toothache. It had been bothering me before so I made an appointment for Monday. It was a crowned/root canaled tooth. Or "dead". I thought maybe the gum was being bothered by the chemo. The pain on Thursday had me believing in Hell again. I called my dentist and they squeezed me in at 230PM. By the time I left I was screaming bloody murder and punching our bathroom/tiled wall. I was ready to cut into my Gum and relieve the pressure/pain.

An excruciating X-ray revealed a massive infection under the "dead" tooth and in one of the canals. The root canal was done the winter of '99-00. Nice job, fuck heads. The X-ray was excruciating because of all the crap they put in your mouth and bite on feels really horrible when you have mouth sores.

We go with a "retry". Redo the root canal instead of pulling/implant or doing a bridge. at 1300 it's also the cheapest method. they calculate insurance will pay about 550. Yay. Glad we're made of money and have no other expenses.

The doc gives me a few shots of novocaine and asks if I want Nitrous. I decline. they aren't trained anesthesiologists. That's why sometimes, on a rare occasion, someone dies at the dentist. And as I've "dabbled" in anesthesia......lets say I know how precarious the patients position is. So I decline but I'm nervous. I can still feel the tooth. My doc loads me up. I think I got 8-12 shots total and then they go to work. For a change, its pain free. The procedure might have been an hour. The relief I feel is indescribable I went from a "10" to a "0" on the pain scale. I almost hugged her. She gives me a script for amoxicillan and I'm out the door. The infection was so large that she left it open so it could drain. Yummy. I did smell it once the drill reached the little buggers. Yummy x 1000.

Wonder why the infection exploded then? Dani also wondered. This happened last time I went through chemo.....

I get the script and it calls for 4 pills right away then 1 every 6 hours. So at 6PM I chug 2000mg of Amoxicillan. Or does 2grams sound larger?

~8PM I'm feeling a toothache. She didn't give me any pain killers. I pop an Oxycodone (Percocet) left over from Surgery.

~15min later I feel a rush of warmth and start sweating.

Fuck.

I grab a thermometer. 101.2. Dani gets off the phone with her mom. I take my temp again. 101.4 FUCK!

during chemo a fever sends you to the doc or the ER if its after hours. I call the on-call anyway. She sends me to the ER. For some reason we drive. stupid. We're kind of in a state of panic. once there they take my vitals. I'm down to ~99.5. So we wait. I hate waiting. I'm so tired of waiting. I tell Dani I'm thirsty and feeling dizzy. She goes up and tells the registrar. I get the next room. It's pediatrics but I get the next room (shhhhhhh. don't ever do that at home, kids). And it's pretty. Unfortunately it's also a big diaper/formula supply room. Oh well. I was tired and wanted a bed.

I won't go through the details of a teaching ER again. Or the fact that its still summer so it's chock full of inexperienced fucks. Or that the student missed my vein twice. That would all be redundant.

The fever disappeared. Several things could have caused it, including taking a massive dose of antibiotics.

however, my WBC (White Blood Cell) and Absolute (Absolute Neutrophil Count) counts are 1.4 and 460, respectively. I'm in the basement. After only 1 cycle. I'm at a High Risk rate for infection. This is my week off from chemo. My weekend off from chemo. Now I have to avoid people.

Into the ER at 8:30PM. Out at 1:30AM.

And my week destroyed.


Peace.

Priceless. [C,L]

Pre-haircut shampoo: $5 Tip
Haircut: $55
Haircut Tip: $15

Old Friend making a sick boy look fabulous and feel wonderful in her chair: Priceless.

Drugs Rock! [C,L]

Times have been tough, too say the least. My onco has suggested I take a relaxant. I've been reluctant. I've been drinking like a fish, my BP has been ~120/110, and I've been getting only 5hrs of sleep. It's not good. But I was avoiding drugs b/c of my alcohol consumpyion. But I can't take the stress anymore. So I popped a 0.5mg Lorazepam ~30 min. ago. I've been drinking whiskey for a few hours.

To be honest, I feel fucking fabulous!!!!! I have no cares right now. I feel stoned outta my mind and all is wonderful. It's a beautiful world we live in......a sweet romantic place..........LOL! This euphoria is indescriable, and so needede.

For weeks I've been tweaking. And now i feel fine. Everything else can go fuck its self.

Y'all are beautiful. Life is beautiful

Peace.

No Such Thing As Bad Publicity??? [L]

Here's some nice footage from PETA. I worked at this company, in this building, the small mammal teratology dept. from'99-03. I knew the monkey techs well.

I felt most like a lab animal during my MRI and my last Surgery. More like a restrained Monkey than a Human.

Fun with Monkey's


And remember - if you take it, touch it, slab it on, or it touches your food, it's been tested. No matter what that label tries to imply. "Final product has not been tested..." is a good one that comes to mind. Think about it next time you consider buying the next "new & improved" headache pill, or a pill so you can eat crap all day.

1000's died so you could eat that chili burger.

One Year Anniversary [L]

Sunday July 8th, 2007

Sunday Started out like most. Dani went to work the Dupont Farmer's Market. We had decided to celebrate our one year in a very low key way: we'd just hang and drink. Celebrate Us. Everything else would be the same. OK. Maybe we do that most Sundays but this was different, dammit!

At the end of Market Eric gave us a too generous gift and we headed home. We did have a plan: drinks at El Tamarindo. A low key, kind of homey Mexican/El Salvadoran restaurant at 18th & U st. NW. It's one of our favorites. The food servings are ginormous and the Margs rock. And its a nearly straight walk from where we live. But mostly we have many fond memories of the place.

So there we were drinking margs and Dos Equis, eating a papusa. We toasted our marriage, each other, The Kitty, Life, and many more years together. It was a nice, low key, all around wonderful experience. I find nothing more enjoyable than spending time with Dani. we talk, laugh, make fun of everything, and enjoy being.

We went home and had a wonderful dinner. reminisced about the Wedding and looked at photos of that day.

It was one of many beautiful days. There's nothing better than contentment, eh?

Independence Day [L]

View Of The Capitol From North Capitol at The End of our Street (Looking South)

Everyone Should do Independence Day on The Mall Once. We have. We decided to drink, go to our favorite fountain, drink, and see what fireworks we could see from our apt.

I'm gonna reveal this fountain but don't be telling everyone about it. Not many people go, it's not on any online mapping service but it's huge. We found it when we first started dating, summer of '05. We were in eastern Market and decided to walk to The Mall. It was Hot as Hell. During our Journey We played in the sprinklers at the Library of Congress to cool off. Then we ran into it. A huge fountain with nobody around. We jumped in and frolicked. Uninterrupted. No people, dogs, pigeons. Nobody. Fucking unbelievable. I remember that day like it was yesterday.


We're pretty sure no one hordes this fountain because they're aren't any Starbucks near by or chain restaurants. Sort of. It's right next to Union Station but that seems too far for the tourists and most locals. Again, keep your mouths shut. Please. just North of the Capitol. At North Capitol Street Southern terminus. A fountain almost completely isolated from throngs of tourist and dumbass locals looking cool (in their mind) with their starbucks/xando half-calf vanilla mocha strawberry lattes and playing with their dogs. It's a Jewel in the rough. best Park in DC. And about 12 blocks due South of our current place-o-residence. Paradise in Summer. An Oasis in a concrete hell hole. Our Park. Our Fountain. And just outside the 4th-o-july- security parimeter. A Match made in heaven.





So their we played for a while. In our fountain. We ran into a dude Dani knows. He was there with his dogs. We see him almost everytime we go there. Secret might be getting out, eh?

View Of The Capitol From In The Fountain

After that we went back home. Hung out on our back porch and watch Fireworks. Couldn't see the Main event but there was half a dozen little shows all around us. Right in our neighborhood. Two of them would have put small town shows to shame. Or very tiny villages. The fireworks went of through the night and into the early morning hours. In the front birds were fleeing fireworks from tree to tree. The smoke and flashes reminding me of Apocalypse Now. It was kind of dangerous and exciting.

It was a good day. I love spending a full day with my wife.

Honey Collection [L,F]

July 3rd.

Damn That was cool! For a brief recap: Dani and her friend Lori started to keep Bee's in '05. They started with 2 hives. The main source of pollen in that area is Tulip trees - which bloom May-June. It takes at least a year before you can harvest honey. If all goes well. Bee Keeping ain't so easy. They've lost hives to "swarming" and winter warm ups.

Swarming - The hive, for a few reasons, to leave. A winter warm up - the hive uses up resources. temps drop again and the hive starves.

This summer was the first time they've been able to collect honey. You can only collect honey from a healthy, robust, 1+yr old hive. And so they had one. I didn't have my camera with me. Dammit. Got some later photos with Lori's camera. But basically they remove a frame from the hive, brush the bees off and move it to a secure location. We took six frames and moved them indoors. They were heavy but it didn't seem like much. While inside a bee had discovered a way in. The bee had to be "taken care of". Otherwise it would have gone back to the hive and we would have been swarmed. We also noticed bees congregating by an open, screened, window so we had to close it an suffer through the heat.

They are an amazing animal.

First you have to cut the wax sealant of the honeycomb with an electrically heated knife:



Then We put the frames in an Extractor and crank an arm - the honey comes out through centrifugal force.. I looked in the extractor after we cranked. didn't seem like much honey. The frames were incredibly light compared to when we put them in but it still didn't seem like much. Then we opened the valve and let all the liquid gold pour out:





Four frikken gallons from 6 frames! It was one of the neatest things I've ever been a part of. I wonder if maybe I could do it for a living. Or a partial living. Maybe. Full Bee album:


Bees

What an Exciting Week! [C,L,F]

Saw my (new) Surgeon on Monday. Seemed a little concerned about where the Lymph nodes were. Gonna try and take a bit out and see what pathology has to say.

Tuesday we extracted Honey for the first time from the hives. That was awesome and I'll try and post a full report later.

Wednesday......we drank

Thursday I had an Interview with one of them there soulless contract agencies. Who knows where that will go

Friday I have surgery at 0730

Saturday we pick blueberries.

I can drink for 38 more minutes...

Skinny Puppy: Now Is The Only Thing That's Real [L]

June 11th, 2007

We got tickets minutes after they went on sale. And immediately we were worried.

Probably not until we're dead. Or they're dead.

And there we were last night at the 9:30 Club with The seminal Industrial/electronic band Skinny Puppy.

If you need some "mainstream references" - Nine Inch Nails & Marylin Manson are there kinder, gentler offspring.

We went to the show with some trepidation. and mucho liquid courage. Were we too old? Were we, in other words, gonna get our arses kicked?

My worries melted away as soon as we got there. It seemed like maybe a fourth of the not-sold-out-show crowd were old enough to remember. the rest weren't born yet. And mucho posers. I'm a snobby purist and I hate seeing people wearing other band concert T's to shows. As if it's the only black they own and they're convinced they need to wear black.

We sat through an obnoxious opening band (white mice) before the real show started.





DC crowds are often criticized for being wimpy and this was a perfect example. As soon as Skinny Puppy came on I easily slid over to front and center. Dani, not feeling the same compulsion, stayed behind at front stage right. It wasn't violent and that wasn't such a bad thing. I stayed for my fix then went back over to where Dani was.



It was an amazing show and difficult to describe. They played newer stuff exclusively. More techno-Industrial than there harder, earlier recordings. Nothing older than Warlock. But that's OK. They've been around for 20 some years. Who wants a band that continues to put out the same old stuff? people complain a band doesn't sound like it's "classic old stuff" are the same ones that complain "it all sounds the same." Fuck 'em. And the more we listen to their latest CD "Mythmaker" the more we like it. And bands must get bored to death. Become robots on stage. This was anything but. Ogre was enjoying himself. He even smiled, which Dani will tell you is most unlike Ogre.

And the show went on, with most tracks from there newest album. "Ambiantz, Ugli, Magnifishit, etc. We were in our element and it was amazing.



As we were experiencing the sensory overload that is Skinny Puppy it hit me - this is just like backpacking. The thought was strengthened with the song "Worlock" in which a recorded Charles Manson states (several times):

"Now is the only thing that's real". I leaned into Dani at this point, hugging here from behind and telling her "I Love You." I was in Heaven. And Dani was there with me.


And now its over. But I know it was real.



Skinny Puppy and Iggy Pop. Two of the best shows of my life within Months of each other. All we need is for Ministry to show up and the Trifecta will be complete.

"The Police used to watch over the people. Now they're watching the people."

Goodbye/My "Life"/Welcome Iggy. [L]

Gonna be without internet for a bit.





Recap: landlord wants us out.

I love packing on Holiday weekends.

We really didn’t need this right now. Of the One Million things we need, this isn’t one of them.

We found this place through a mutual friend of the parties involved. They understood we don’t like to move, we understood they don’t like to look for tenants. We thought this was gonna be for the long haul. They treated us like good friends from the beginning when we moved in “way back” in October. So this felt like a kick in the teeth from a good friend followed by a few kidney punches. Dani felt particularly betrayed. It was, in her opinion, worst than our last battle with eviction notices, attempts to change locks, verbal battles, police, lawyers, etc. This was done by people who wanted to be friends but somehow didn’t see they would need the space in the immediate future. She’s probably right but all I could muster was “Fucking Assholess” and “Time to go”. I can re-categorize and write off people in a blink off an eye. Dani, not so much.

There was no way we could stay. They did us a favor by offering an early out but it is not altruistic. It’s obvious they need space now and wouldn’t be sorry if we left ASAP. So we sent out word and hit Craigs List. It becomes 2 full time jobs, of course. What a difference 8mos makes. The condo glut/gentrification has pushed rentals to the insane price range. Frikken 1300/mo for crappy 1br basements. We check out everything between 1000-1400 with no luck. Finally, one place looks promising. They want us to stop by Saturday, May 26.

Crap.

If you ask me for my top One Million places I would want to be on Memorial day weekend…..I would ask you to expand it so I could list DC. So we cancel the appointment, cash in two United Airline vouchers and head out for a backpacking trip to Glacier National Park!!!!!!!





No. Wait. That was a dream. Sigh.

Back To reality:



So we check it out. We are pleasantly surprised that it is above ground. Really happy it's second floor with Bay windows. There is no 3rd floor. How awesome is that? It doesn't have the amazing ultra-modern kitchen our current apartment has but, in our opinion, the price for that Kitchen was a little too high. Being in a basement sucks, even if just half the apartment is subterranean. it's the half we use for 90-95% of our waking hours. The over-indulged Children lacking boundaries was really starting to get to me. The pressing their faces against our back windows looking for our Cat being one example. Constant running and crashing being another. It's as if their parents indulge their every whim and expected us to do the same. Maybe I'm being a little harsh, but we're pissed and I think we deserve a little leeway. After all, no matter how you look at it, we are being evicted. Evicted by "friends." The new apartment seems to be in a rougher neighborhood but I always think that when I move in DC. It's probably just a question of familiarity.

So we slap down a check for first month and deposit. And then we have to wait for “approval”.

In the meantime, we pack. And sweat, for some reason. Today we get final approval. We are moving into Truxton Circle neighborhood. A little South and East of us now. Deeper into the Cities mean streets. We are ahead of the curve. We are pioneers again. Not so much as a single Rainbow Flag on any building/apt anywhere in our new ‘hood. We are part of 4% of the ethnic makeup but I think maybe that was a typo and we are more like .4%.

And did I tell you it's not a basement?

This all goes in with my difficulties in getting my life back. I’ve never sent out so many resumes. The only responses I get aren’t so nice. Not sure if it’s the 1.5yr “medical leave” or, after 6 years, my willful inability to work in Big Pharma/Animal Research anymore. Probably a combo. Just a little while ago I was in no condition to take on a server type position but that may have changed.

Such is Life, eh?


For now, I work on our friends Organic Farm. Yes, I kid you not, Farming. I work at my pace. My hours. I like the work. It's.........Zen like. Maybe I found a new Life?

Basil & Tomato:

Hay keeps the weeds at bay and attracts earthworms

"My" tools:

Future Vineyard:


Now meet the newest member to our family:




Iggy. A 2yr old we rescued from the Humane Society. He’s friendly, playful as hell, never uses his claws on us. He’s ugly, spastic, smart and not so smart.


I’ve got some packing and job hunting to do. I will soon be without Internet. Abuse me while you can…….


Peace

Party of the Millenium: A.V Ristoranti Italiano - March 3rd, 2007 [L]

Going back in time to catch up. Maybe two more posts in this "series". The pictures I uploaded today have loss some definition. For some reason. Sorry. We haven't lost teeth just pixels, I swear! The ones I linked yesterday and saved in the draft are fine. I'd wait for a response from blogger but then I'd never get this posted.....

The Amazing Dani
March 3rd, 2007

Dinner with Kyle & Courtney at A.V. Ristorante Italiano

From a review:

A.V. is short for the original owners, husband and wife Augusto and Assunta Vasaio -- Gus and Sue -- and the restaurant is still in the family two Augustos further on.

It has been a Washington institution for nearly 60 years, and a sort of Rorschach test for at least 10, but after several reprieves, the end of A.V. Ristorante Italiano may be near...The place itself is a "Sopranos" stage set: a series of smallish, dark rooms painted bordello red and crowded with photos and kitsch....The jukebox is still stocked only with opera, many tracks of which are touchingly worn, and the huge 18th-century fireplace dwarfs its own andirons. There is still a folding-door public phone booth near the kitchen. And the "piazza" -- for concrete or not, you can't possibly refer to something with a fountain of Poseidon as a patio -- remains, though the jungle of plastic greenery and Christmas lights I remember are gone. (There is one brighter party room in the back, with an impressive marble bar, but somehow that's not where the action is.)...

Piazza (just left of entrance):


Entrance:


Right & North of entrance - 7th st side (Place is huge):




I often passed by it thinking “What a dive. Must be great I-talian”. It opened in 1949 and is one of the oldest Italian restaurants in DC. I despise high-end Italian Restaurants. And will confess I’ve never really eaten at one. I look at the menu and think “How’s this Italian?” I expect the standard fare, plastic red & white checkered table clothes with cigarette burns, kitche, tacky decorations, and old Italians. IN DC, it seems to be a difficult thing to find. So when I heard AV was closing, I was determined to eat there. Dani set up a dinner date; us along with Courtney & Kyle. 7PM, Saturday.


The Stove

Dani & I started pre-dinner festivities with a drink or two. While getting ready and cleaning up, Dani dropped a sponge behind the stove. No problem, I thought, especially with our ultramodern kitchen. I go to the stove and figure I can probably pull it out from the wall. I lift it, using the oven handle and……………….BAM! I pull the stove door off and it slams into my right shin! Again, this is an ultra-mod, stainless steel stove. The top is several layers of components that come apart, no hinges, for easy cleaning. The door has these hook like hinges and is heavy as fuck. Man my shin kills. Thank God for the booze. It appears the door is supposed to be removable (that’s what the hooky-hinge things are for). It shouldn’t take a rocket scientist to get it back on. It shouldn’t be any trouble for two people with a few degrees between them to figure out how to get the door back on. Drinks or no drinks. At least in theory. And y’all might think it only takes common sense. For those that do I invite you over. Get the door back on in under an hour and drinks are on me. Scott might be able to do it, Mr Logic Mechanic. But we couldn’t. And Man was I getting frustrated. And I hurt. And we had Dinner Reservations. What I could do is Jerry-rig it with bungee cords. I do rock at Jerry-rigging. So, with the door closed, we left.


The Walk

A.V. Ristoranti Italiano is at 607 New York Avenue NW, 1.2mi from our Apt. Reservations were for 7. Dani thought we should head out by 6:30. it’s an easy walk down Rhode Island then South down 6th St. Shouldn’t take more than 15min. As we get within sight something happens. Dani isn’t well. She’s feeling faint. I suggest we walk the block and a half to the restaurant. She declines, saying she needs to sit now. We go to the steps of a police station, on the opposite corner of 7th & New York. I can see the restaurant. Oh well. Don’t want her to pass out. While we sit she text’s Courtney (a few times) to tell her will be there shortly.


An Arrival Like No Other.

This is difficult to describe. It was slo-mo. My brain was assaulted with images that didn’t fit.

Dani starts to feel better and we arrive at A.V. She gives our reservation name to a Host and he tells us our party is in the back. At least I think it was a host. He left us to fend for ourselves. AV is cavernous – multiple rooms and bars. Dani casually request I take the lead. As I weave my way to the back room and enter, I see Courtney. I see Courtney sitting with a bunch of people. How strange, I think. Guess she ran into people she knows. What a co-ink-e-dink. As I get closer I notice it’s a huge party of people that Courtney’s hanging out with. As I get closer Still I notice I know all these people………………..also. People from everywhere in my life…………….I stop in my tracks. Yes, my jaw hits the floor. Not literally. Actually. I turn to Dani. I’m stunned. Flabbergasted. Speechless. She sits me down in the middle of a table containing ~30 friends of Mine. I am dumbfounded. In a state of semi shock. To my right is a sea of friends from DC. To my left are former co-workers, from the ex-burbs of Virginia. Also are some fantastic backpacking friends. Our farmer are further down. And sitting across from me would be my Best friend Andy. From Fredonia, NY. Our hometown.

I think they shouted happy birthday to me. A lifetime after I arrived. Somewhere after it dawned on me that I knew everyone and before I sat. “Birthday? My Birthday isn’t for 5 days………………..”

Forget the ugly dude - look at that bar!


I can’t process this. It’s all out of context. I was expecting Kyle & Courtney and that’s all I saw when I arrived. Everyone else was out of context and invisible. I stare at Andy. I ask him “What the Fuck are you doing here?” I stare at some other people and wonder what they’re doing in DC. Why are all the DC people here? I ask Andy again: “What the Fuck are you doing here?” One of my former co-workers/friends point to some of my other friends and ask me who they are. I fumble for names. I know them. I know them well. But why are they here? I look at Andy again….”What the Fuck are you doing here?”

I only had two drinks before I got there. But I’m so blown out of the water. Clayton asks my poison. “Beer and Bourbon, please. Makers will do.” This is not the time for me to be casually sippin’ or shy about my habits.


ATTENDEES

My Good Friend from Home:
Andy. Known him since the 80’s

My Good DC Friends
Zoe & Kate
Eric
Erin
Courtney & Kyle
Lauren
Clayton, Lynn and Sophie
Krissi & Reece

My Good Virginia Friends:
Scott
Karin
Leigh & Maurice

My Good Farmer Friends (where we got married)
Eric & Lori

My Good Backpacking Friends
Katie (Philadelphia)
Kim & Antonio (New Jersey)
Mark & Janet (Baltimore)

My best friend and unbeknownst to me most devious love
Dani








Hindsight stuff.

No ones ever done anything like this for me ever. Nothing close. And Dani really isn’t that good from keeping the smallest details from me. She always has this look. Or so I thought……….

I would find out later that this was months in planning. Dani “broke into” my gmail and scoured it for friends. Breaking in required that she click on bookmarks. Gleaning it for names she recognized was not so easy. On one email regarding the surprise party– she accidently CC’d me. I got a call and she said “Please, if you love me you will delete the email I just sent you without reading it.” She explained that it regarded gift ideas for me. I said “OK” and whacked it. She was kind of begging me to get a haircut. It was getting a little crazy but I was enjoying being able to grow my hair in a fabulous luxurious way. :D She cleaned our apartment like she was expecting company. She bought extra beer for the weekend in case “Kyle & Courtney” were dropping by after dinner. She seemed more than calm when I “ripped” the stove door off. And of course, Dani getting "ill" less than a block from the restaurant and wanting to blop down right there. She was texting, making sure everyone was inside. Nice feign, lover.


Back Room

So there we all are. In the backroom of the tackiest Italian Restaurant I had ever seen. Places like Buca di Beppo try to be tacky and that makes them pseudo kitschy. This place didn’t try to be tacky. They were Old World I-Talians so their decorative sense is…..just tacky. I’ll never forget the 5ft tall alabaster Leaning Tower of Pisa next to us. LOL! The servers were surely but in an odd friendly way, the food, served family style for us, was borderline terrible, the Chianti just barely, but the party was the most amazing event ever!!!! Then people shocked me again by handing me gifts. “Fuck”. I thought the surprise party was more than enough of a gift. Antonio got me a scotch and beer. I drank copious beer and whiskey/ky. And some “lovely” Chianti. Dani the whole time was playing hostess. Working the table, making sure I got everything I needed. I did a few rounds of the table. Just chatting and having a Grand Ole Time. But it’s all one extremely happy blur. Then my bday cake came – a fallen Tiramisu. Ugly but fantastic. Best part of the dinner


Alabaster Masterpiece!


Post party party.

We close the place. Very inebriated, say our goodbyes and then invite all to some more fun. Actually, Dani had invited Anyone who wanted a place to crash. So back to our apartment with Andy, Kim, and Antonio. How anyone drove is beyond me (shhhhhhhh?). Back home I break out one of the gifts – Laphroaig Quarter Cask. Can’t get it this side of the pond. Antonio and I drink it. I drink Dani's. He drinks Kim’s………and maybe I drank Andy’s. Laphroaig Scotch is not for many. Strong Islay…peaty smoky heaven to me. Poison to others. Down them and we’re off to DC9, a nice hole in the wall about 7 blocks away. We get there and are somewhat inebriated. Time no longer has meaning to me. We pull up to the bar and get some beers. I believe I am not aware of much at this point. Then Antonio orders a round of shots. Its strawberry shortcake. Nastiest, sweetest shot I’ve ever done. Antonio must have gone crazy. But I can not refuse. Then I drink half of Dani’s. Antonio orders another one. I can’t figure out if he’s a sadist or a masochist. I think I did all of Dani’s. At this point, Antonio becomes really sloppy…….I think at one point he went out to smoke and he passed out. Maybe. At least that’s what I was told. I was quite gone. After a while we went to Ben’s Chili Bowl. Apparently, Andy needed food ASAP……so I was told the next day. Boy did he not know what he was in store for. It was 4 blocks away and I love it.

Ben's Chili Bowl

It was after closing so Ben’s was packed. For some reason, we were seated with 3 strangers. I was confused. Later, it was explained to me that was the only way to be seated ASAP and get service. But I was too drunk and getting funnier as the night went on, of course. Apparently I berated these people. Three white as wonder bread suburbanites. Two women, one man. I kept asking…….where they were from. Annoyed that they were here. I do recall hating one of the girls. She was really annoying. I swear! At some point, Antonio had passed out in his food. So I was told the next day. The place had skeered Andy and he ordered a veggie burger. I wolfed down my usual - a chili half-smoke and fries. Time to go. Antonio was having a hard time walking. So I was told the next day. Dani asked me to flag a cab. I said we could walk and she flashed me The Sign. I walked into the street and almost grabbed the next cab. I believe it was an uneventful ride home and we passed out pretty quickly.

The next morning was rough. I felt kind of ill early morning. Strawberry shortcake shots almost did me in. I can't remember the last time I vomited. I came so close this morning. Uggggh. Kim & Antonio packed up and left. Andy decided to stick around. It was slooooooooooow going. For me at least. We hung out, ate, went to Dupont and Whole Foods. Drank lots of coffee and water. Dani semi-chastised me for my behavior at Ben's but I just replied with "it was my night, dammit!" :D Andy Fixed things (of course) and Entertained us. Sunday was spent as Sundays should be – lazily. And then Andy was off.

All in all, the best damn party of my life and an amazing weekend. Thank you, my Love.

there are some holes in the story.....for various reasons........feel free to comment.


Peace

Tragedy in the Canyon [L]

The news trickled out slowly in the Forums on Thursday. An NPS report was posted stating a woman had died of apparent heatstroke on Tuesday while backpacking in a remote region of the Grand Canyon. The few details that were released sent a chill up our collective spines - the party size, location, and women's age fit with one of our own groups out there. Anyone with a number of the party of 6 sent out calls and we waited. A message was finally received: 'something bad has happened'. The forum moderators were asked to delete the threads and complied immediately. We knew which one it was. And it is so unfair.

It was April from Oregon.

I'm not positive, and I am surmising, but from the description it appears she died of "Fluid intact heatstroke" - the heat challenge overwhelms the body's heat loss mechanism even though the fluid level is sufficient. It kills quickly if you can't reduce the body temperature. Not an easy thing to do in the desert with temperatures hovering around 105*. And they were all experienced desert backpackers. They used all their resources and knowledge in a valiant attempt to save her.

She died in her husbands arms, Tuesday afternoon. They had been married for 25 years. They loved the Canyon. Two set out Wednesday morning for help. They were hoping to get to the Trailhead by Friday. From there they would have to search for a Ranger. Another party came upon them. They would be at the River by Thursday. River Rafting Companies equip their people with satellite cell phones.

A Helicopter arrived Thursday afternoon. A Ranger would be dispatched to meet the two hiking out.

I didn't know them personally. But the communities are tight knit. I've met maybe 50 between the two forums and know all the regulars by no more than one degree of separation. I counted them as friends and knew they were two beautiful souls. When I was first diagnosed with Hodgkin's, He & his wife were one of the first of many from the forums that contributed to my fund raiser. He contacted a friend before word went out on how to help. Once, near Christmas, I mentioned on the forums about how I loved ginger snaps. A few days later I got a package of ginger snaps from him. His wife was a Christmas cookie maker fanatic. Best Ginger snaps ever.

It's little things like that make some shine more than others. I promised my next trip would be in the Pacific Northwest. I needed to meet these kind souls. we chatted on the forums last night. He told me he's still looking forward to meeting me one day. I hope it's soon.

Cause I'm a Punk Rocker [L]

Follow the link:

Iggy

Time To Go [L]

Received from our Landlord on May 16th:

dear Dani and Phil

I feel bad and have been postponing this email for a while but I guess there is no good way to say this: we don't intend to renew the lease in October. Peter's business is growing and it is becoming difficult for him to work with two noisy girls running up and down the stairs all day. Also, we need storage space for all his supplies that are now increasingly crowding our living and dining room. It is the obvious solution for us to take over the basement to make it into an office, we just very much regret putting your life upside down because of it and hope that out of bad news, good developments will emerge. We thought it'd be better to let you know already now, in case you want to buy a house and need some time to do that. We are flexible and so can accommodate an earlier departure date if you find something that you like earlier than October. It's been so easy and lovely to have you as tenants, we'll be sorry to see you go.
Warmly,
Carole

What can we do? It sucks.

This is my 4th apt in DC ('99-now). Third time I've had to vacate due to "exterior pressure". It's also the nicest apartment I've lived in. I've been OK with the other moves. This one sucks. Job hunts going smashingly horrendous.......worst time I've ever had. Timing is everything......................................

Sometimes Life really sucks, eh? Thank God for Dani....she makes everything OK.

I'm done with this. Hope to post past fun times soon........

PEACE

Farewell, Annie [L]

We picked up her ashes a few hours ago. Again, we could say little once there. They put her in a very nice place to rest. A poem by Edwin Arnold was including:

Farewell, Friend, yet not farewell.
Where I go, ye to shall dwell.
I am gone, before your face,
a moment’s time, a little space.

When ye come where I have stepped
Ye will wonder why ye wept.

ANNIE: 7/20/1994-4/27/2007 [L]

INTRO

I only knew her for the last two years. Yet I was home with her all day from 11/05 to her last. Suffice to say, we were good friends and loved each other. She wasn’t a cat or pet, she was a companion. More than that she was also Dani’s baby

Annie was her name. I preferred “The Kitty” or just “Kitty”. But she was no cat. Nor was she a pet. She was a good friend who gave as good as she got. Her current vet put Annie’s age at 16. She looked to be a Norwegian Forrester. She had a hyperthyroid that was difficult to control. Her arthritis was horrible. Her “first” vet was stunned by the x-rays. Showing massive scar tissue on her hind legs – indicative of horrendous abuse, kicking most likely, with no medical attention. Dani wept when she saw those x-rays. Still, she was an unbroken spirit. She would eat what she wanted to and climb where she wanted to be. In the end, however, it was her heart murmur that she couldn’t overcome. Most likely she was “throwing” blood clots to her hindquarters and towards her head.

PRELOGUE
Most should know by now, the story. Back in 94 Dani was home in Missouri from college for summer break. Sitting in a lawn chair, in her backyard, reading. Out of the woods comes a cat, trotting towards her. She gets near her and lets out a loud meow. Dani asks, “what’s wrong, kitty?” to which she cries some more. It’s Dani’s parents Anniversary. Annie is all belly and full of burs. Dani pets her a bit and carries her inside. Dani’s Mom suggests they put her in the pump house for the Father to “find”. This way he can “make the decision” to bring her in. The Mom’s devious strategy works. Two days later, Annie gives birth to seven kittens. Dani personally sees that they are all adopted.

Kitty had chosen Dani. Somehow. Just came out of the woods and announced her decision. And from the beginning it was obvious. Annie was Dani’s Kitty. Dani was Annie’s.

I really can't put into words how much they loved each other.

Soon after, Dani leaves for college. Right after Dani Leaves, her Mom realizes something’s wrong with Annie and takes her to the Vet. Her intestines have telescoped and she needs surgery, ASAP. She’s in danger of developing peritonitis. Mom considers putting Annie down but the Dad vetoes, saying: “Dani will kill us”. After that, Annie would allow no one to handle her besides Dani. Dani would come home from college and it was like they were old friends. It would take 2 years, living at her home, before her Mom could pet Annie. And of course, when Dani moved to DC so did Kitty.

And then I came along. Kitty took an almost immediate liking to me. But I believe at first it was only because Dani liked me. Later we bonded like I’ve never bonded with an animal.

THE BEGINNING OF THE END
And then came that horrible day in late March. She had what appeared to be a stroke. She appeared blind in the left eye, was making clockwise rotations, had a head tilt, and was having difficulty using her back legs. She seemed to have a disconnect with anything Left of her. But Dani was not going to take her to the Vet. They would want to observe her over night and that would not be acceptable. Dani has a strong, and justifiable reason for not trusting overnight stays. I had over six years of training and could easily recognize pain and assess pain levels. If I was unsure, we could always call Dani’s friend, a Vet out West. So we would watch, and hope she overcome this. The first two days were horrible. We worked with Annie, helping her walk, trying to get her to eat and drink, to no avail. She was upset. Sometimes crying out with frustration. Once, I had to hold her up so she could use the litter box. It was the second night when things got much better. She was walking with ease and during dinner came to her “position” next to me. That night, Kitty got my Chicken leg dinner. Both of them.

She improved over the next week or so but it was slow going. She had to do circles before anything, she was very unstable, and she didn’t purr much anymore, only when being brushed. Occasionally she would head butt me and chew on my hair. But nothing like before. It was heartbreaking. She was too unstable to sit in laps or be on the bed. She would come to the bedroom and look up at us, longingly, then settle in her corner on the floor. Still, we hoped for the best.

But then came two more strokes – “mini strokes”, in rapid succession. We saw one; she was experiencing head spasms, and at the same time lifting her right paw to her head, as if she were trying to brush something off her face. She shook that one off. The next one was early in the morning, again, she was falling forward. Unwilling to use her back legs, lifting them up from the ground. She could not support her weight on her front legs alone and would fall forward. She wouldn’t eat that day, not even the chicken legs Dani cooked for her that night. She did finally eat the chicken the next day and she started walking better. But we started to recognize that Kitty may not pull out this time. Dani and I were becoming increasingly distraught. That night we picked up Dani’s Mom at the airport. She was aware of the situation.

4/26/07 – ANNIE'S LAST DAY
It was midnightish when we got back from the airport. Things had taken a turn for the worst. Kitty must have had another episode. She was now circling counter-clockwise but could find nothing. She looked completely confused, disorientated. She couldn’t find her food or water right in front of her face. She moaned her annoyance. Both eyes seemed non-functional now. Her back legs weren’t working. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I just looked at Mom. It was only gonna get worst. It was time. We contemplated taking her right then but decided Morning was just as well. Mom picked her up and soothed her. Dani and I just sat there. Devastated. We started drinking. Hard. Drinking and Crying. My Mother-in-law just barely keeping it together. Welcome to DC, Mom. Kitty laid on the floor near our sofa couch, where Dani and I would be sleeping. Mom went to bed. I sat there with her, brushing her chin and side. She was enjoying it but not purring. I asked Dani to bring my Laphroaig Whisky. She said “can I get you a glass?” “No” I responded. Tonight I drink to Kitty. Dani went to bed, crying. I sat with Kitty, brushing her and drinking my Scotch. She closed her eyes and fell asleep. I finished off the bottle and went to bed. crying softly. Later, I could here Kitty drag herself to the bedroom. It was so fucking heartbreaking.

The Morning came in no time. We sat there like we sat the night before. Devastated. Dani called her vet and told them, as best she could while balling, that it was time. They fit us in for 11AM. Gave us an hour or so. Fuck. In the meantime we watched Kitty. She could walk again but couldn’t find anything. Twice she fell into her food, laying her head on the plate. I watched her drink water without touching the water. At one point, she looked in my direction and let out this moan. Instinctually, somehow, I picked her up and brought her to her Litter box. There, with tears welling up, I helped keep her upright while she peed. Why couldn’t she have died in her sleep? When the time came I grabbed her carrier, just in case, and two bandanas. Dani picked Annie up and out the door we went. In the car I told Dani that I knew this sucked but I was having a hard time seeing the road. Kitties vet was ~10minute drive. I handed Dani a bandana.

Luckily, I find a spot within a block of the Vet. Everything starts to blur. I’m sure there were people on the sidewalk but I remember no one. We get inside, Dani balling and me unable to approach the receptionist. I’m using my sunglasses to help keep my shit together. I can’t take them off. No matter. The receptionist recognizes us and brings us back to a room. She recognizes us from the Vet and she shops at Dani’s stand. We sign this and that, the receptionist being a complete sweetheart. Then the Doc comes in. Another gentle soul, going through the details. Being completely compassionate. She leaves, after getting our permission to take Kitty and put a catheter in.

The vet came back with Kitty and a towel. Put her in Dani’s lap and told us to take our time. She left us. We unwrapped her. We hugged Kitty, told her how sorry we were, and thanked her for her love. Kissing her. We tried to be brave and not upset Annie. But it was too difficult. Dani was inconsolable. Saying she couldn’t do it but knowing we had to. The Vet checked back in. Dani summoned all the courage she could and gave the OK. The Vet started with Saline. Dani hugged Kitty tight. I got on the floor next to them and took my sunglasses off. Tears rolling freely off our faces. As the vet started the first drug, Kitty lashed out with her free arm, trying to remove the catheter. I petted her, trying to console her. In no time she fell asleep, her head resting on Dani’s knee, front arms splayed on either side of her leg. The vet continued. I had to take a Bandanna to Dani’s face. As she would later tell me: “I could feel her heart stop.”

The vet confirmed Annie’s passing and left us, telling us once again to take our time. I don’t know how long we were there, sobbing, thanking her and telling her how sorry we were. At some point Dani said we should go. I left the room to get someone. A tech responded, entered the room, stopped short, and let out a quiet little “Oh.” She knew Dani outside of the Hospital. She gently grabbed Kitty, said she was sorry and she would take care of her. We each kissed Annie one more time on the head, said goodbye, and left. Not sure how I drove home. The silence that night and the next morning was truly deafening.

We have to wait until Wednesday, 5/9, to pick up her ashes…….…it hurts

TRIBUTE TO THE KITTY

Kitty, The Compassionate
When Dani was alone and upset, Kitty would come to her and gently pat her cheek with her paw, trying to soothe her, tell her all was well. The Kitty was always very concerned while I was undergoing treatment, often by my side on days I was feeling particularly ill. And when I slept late on those days, I would open my eyes and there was Kitty watching me with obvious concern, either from the floor or on the bed. She would then let out a little cry and go to Dani. As if satisfied that I was getting up and was OK. She repeated this when I had Mono. I would pass out on the couch and wake up with Annie watching over me.

Spirit of the Kitty
She would climb up on the bed without the use of her back legs to be with us. She would play with toys like a youngster. She would “chase” me around the sofa, trotting until she or I got tired. Usually it was I who gave up. She would watch birds and cats from the windows – with hunger in her eyes. Again, climbing up onto the windowsills without the use of her back legs. On several occasions, she whipped out through a crack in the door to chase the feral Cats living in our back yard. We were scarred shitless when she did this. But we were proud of her. An ancient cat attacking young wild ones like she was a young killer herself. No fear. And she chased the two youngens, the Mom, and on one occasion, the meanest of the bunch - the Tomcat, right out. It was kind of funny to see how petrified they were of her. And Kitty was only 5lbs.

A Best Friend Like No Other
She always wanted to be in one of our laps. Wherever we were sitting. She would come up to us, get on her hind legs and scratch lightly at a knee until you picked her up. The scratching was as gentle as a human scratching, no damage, especially if we were wearing pants. Once on the lap – she needed petting. And she wasn’t gonna take no for an answer. Whether we might be typing or holding a newspaper, she would reach out with a cupped paw with claws slightly extended and pull an arm gently towards her for petting, hopefully scratching.

The Longest kitty and I had been separated was Christmas '06. we went home to Dani's mom in St. Louis fopr 5 days. Kitty was so excited when we came home. She laid in my lap and rubbed. And purred. And rubbed some more.

She was always with us and preferred it if we were in the same room. She loved being on the couch with us. But most of all, She loved bedtime. She often started at the head of the bed, always on the right side, just below the pillows. If she didn’t start out there, she ended up there. If a bad Thunderstorm came through, she would get up on Dani’s pillow and sleep curled up around her head. Sometimes on her head.

And she loved her steel brush. We would brush her at night, on the bed. And she would brush herself. All I had to do was turn it bristle side up and she would rub her neck over the bristles. Kitty would come whenever we called. Even if she were sleeping, as long as we were enthusiastic enough. She followed us to the door when we left, and was at the door when we came home.

Annie liked to lay on the bed. A lot. That’s where we often played. But only after it were made. In fact, she would go to the bed and just look at you and maybe cry out if you didn’t respond right away. Then, after one of us made the bed, she would jump up and make herself comfy. And there we would often play one of her favorite games: Attack The Phil head. I would put my head down and feign a “head butt”, Kitty would grab my head with her claws, lightly digging in, pulling me to her. She would then chew on my hair. This was something she would do with me only, for some reason. She would go right to the base of my hair and chew, pulling up from my head. I could barely feel her teeth against my scalp. But again, it was done with gentle skill and never hurt.

I could also lay my head on the bed and she would put her nose right in my ear and sniff. Hard. This would always make me giggle like a schoolgirl and she seemed to like that. Repeating her actions often. Then she would chew on my hair some. I always loved that. She even tried to do it while I was undergoing chemo. But my hair was so full of Toxins I had to stop her when she tried. I so enjoyed starting up again after my first haircut following my last treatment. It was very comforting. She also loved my armpits. I would lay on the floor or bed with my arms raised/under my head and she would just rub her head into my armpits. Often head-butting them.

What she did enjoy with Dani and I was head butts. Like how Rams butt heads. Occasional she would trot from one side of the bed, put her head down, and “BOP!” Then she would slide her head down against the head she rammed. Always enjoyed that. She also liked to lick eyelids. Waiting until Dani or I closed our eyes to start licking.

And Annie loved the backyard of our new place and had this thing for climbing stairs. She was obsessed with it. Kind of like an autistic obsession - she "had to" climb stairs. Often needed to do this out front as well.

Her other favorite game was attacking The Dani hand. On her side, Dani would start tickling Annie’s belly. The Kitty would get the wild look in her eyes, extend all her claws, and start kicking Dani’s hand with her back legs, then get her front legs in on it. Finally she would start biting the Hand. It used to scare the shit out of me! Kitty looked like she was mauling Dani’s hand! But she never left much of a mark. Certainly never drew blood.

Another game we played was “steal the kitty”. I would grab kitty and run for the bedroom, Dani chasing me, shouting “Don’t take my Kitty from me!” If Dani didn’t grab me in time, I would fall on the bed with Kitty and Dani would jump on. This always seemed to excite Kitty – always happy to be in bed with us – and she'd always start purring.

In the old apartment, Kitty almost always laid on her back on the wood floor in somewhat of a contorted fashion: The front of her body twisted to the left or right with her back half straight up.

Annie preferred water out of a glass. And if not on our laps, or eating food I was giving her, then she wanted to be on the table. If Kitty wasn’t on one of her pillows, then she would lay on black. She loved black - especially my backpack or black duffle bag. We always thought she liked the way her shedded hair looked against black.

Kitty The Provider
One night last Summer, Dani was awakened by the moans of Kitty as she trotted down the hallway towards us from the Living room. Dani woke me up, jumped off the bed, and exclaimed “There’s something wrong wit Annie! We’ve got to go to the ER!” I sat up in time to see (by silhouette) Annie enter the room and sit up by the doorway, under the light switch. Simultaneously, Dani met her and flicked on the light. Annie moaned again and spit a very discombobulated, and most likely terrified, mouse at Dani’s feet. Dani screamed and jumped back onto the bed. It was quiet sweet of Annie to help out with the food, no? Still a mouser at that age is quite impressive.

Jolly 'Ole Kitty
Kitty loved Christmas, of course. And somehow she always knew which present contained catnip.

Gentle, Happy Kitty
In the last few Months of her life, Annie could not climb up on the bed. She would sit by it and wait for one of us to pick her up. As soon as Dani started making Dinner, Annie would go sit upright by my chair and wait. If I was having meat or fish that night, she would get a bite for every bite I took. On non-meat nights I would show my dinner to her but she would still wait. If I wasn’t home and someone had taken my place, Annie would still sit there, looking for food from the person in my chair. And in these late months of her life, she sometimes preferred the floor. Maybe it was the arthritis? Sometimes she slept on “her” (what was once my) comforter in the closet. Sometimes on one of two pillows we had strategically place for her. And sometimes on the floor.

Kitty also went from crying loudly in the Morning to wake us up, to waiting until we stirred. She would give a very low cry, wait for us to stir a little more, than cry louder. She was waking us up gently. On occasion she would stand on us to wake us, but more often then not, she would do it slowly and quietly. I have no idea why.

And through it all, what I remember most is Annie purring. All that was required was for us to be with her. She purred most of the day.

GOODBYE ANNIE


Kitty gave what she got and then some. Annie Loved us unconditionally and we returned it.

I still see her. By the bed, on the bed, by my chair, looking at me, waiting for dinner. In my lap, while I type this. In Dani’s lap, while she reads the paper. Dani catches herself looking for Annie, asking to watch out for Kitty when we leave. Every day Dani called me and would ask “What’s the Kitty doing?” I would usually respond “She’s out back chasing squirrels and feral Kitties, of course.” Or “doing cartwheels. She’s feeling much better.” And it’s so difficult to not sing our Kitty songs.

Nothing’s worst than the silence.

I only knew her for the last two years. It was more than enough and nowhere near enough. I loved her. Dani loved her. Annie was her baby. And we shall miss her like none other.

Her effect on everyone who knew her is a testimonial of who she was and will always be.

“Where’s Kitthhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeee” Dani? She’s watching. Waiting patiently to play with us.

Thank you, Kitty.

Rest In Peace, little one.

Thank you, Kitty.

Rest In Peace, little one.