Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Still Shocking. Why?

I should be ready for this. I thought I was. It was mentioned to me before I even started treatment. I've seen it coming for a couple of weeks. My facial hair grows so slow. What I grow in about a week isn't as full as my old 5 O'clock shadow. I have bald spots on my cheeks. My hair on my head stopped growing a while ago, also. And I noticed it's a bit thinner. Dani noticed a bald spot on top of my head. The hair on my arms and legs is thinning. I've even been running my hands through my hair, frequently, to see what would happen.

It's been coming and I've known about it. What's the big deal?

Today, in the shower, I noticed a little extra hair between my fingers. I pulled on my hair softly, gently, and some came out. I did this a couple of times. I just checked my eyebrows - AOK. :D I gotta stop. I'm not pulling clumps out........yet.

Why does it bother me so?

My favorite Artist is Dali. My favorite Dali is "The Metamorphis of Narcissus". I own a copy.

I could not prepare myself for this.

I feel great right now. If you visited me in person, right now, you would have no idea I have Cancer. I didn't know I had Cancer for 6-9 Months. I won't be able to "hide" it much longer. I hate that. I hate the looks that might generate. Think about the last time you saw someone that was bald from chemo.

Anyone gives me a look of pity and I might smack 'em.

I'm sick, not terminal.

Fuck Cancer. It doesn't stand a chance against me.





Sheila said...

I have a friend who became a Buddhist nun last year, and before she went through with it, she admitted that the thing she was most scared of was having her head shaved. Not the weeks and weeks of spending 12 hrs. +/day meditating. Go figure.

Phil said...

LMAO! Did she look OK?

Sheila said...

I think she looks way-cool, though the grey of her robes is not her best color.