Drink. For Tomorrow We May Die. [C]

Thursday, 8-9-07

I start tomorrow.

Gemcitabine (G), Vinorelbine(V), & Doxorubicin(D). And the anti-cd3o antibody SGN-30 or the placebo. Yay.

GVD is not FDA approved for Hodgkins and only "D" has been used. I took "D" for Round I. It was the "A" in ABVD (using generic vs non-generic names depending on regimen is the source of confusion).

Saw the Research Coordinator (RC) Nurse, then my doc today. I signed a HIPPA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) ,so they can look at any future records, and the Protocol. Technically, I have had tests and appts while on study. So I back dated the documents per the RC's request. "Back dating". Brings back memories for some, eh? Makes me think of Ben. LOL!

My doctor was quite displeased with the RC RN. Her calender was fundamentally wrong. My chemo is 21 days including a week break. So chemo on Day 1 and Day 8. The next round starts on Day 22. She was starting me on day 21 which was staggering my chemo day. She was also not scheduling me for labs on my off week. My Doc called her as I left the exam room. I love it when she gets pissed.

Also Filled my scripts this week. Sort of. Got my compazine & Lorazepam but insurance only "covered" four Anzemet's. "Too" expensive - cost them ~240 for the 4, 35 for me.

But the bottle says "99 refills"? The drug may just be for pre-chemo. Meaning I'll only need 12 total. I'll have to straighten that out tomorrow.

I need a Lorazepam.


Not sure what tomorrow is gonna be like. But I'm thinking it won't be pleasant. Emotionally. I remember walking out of the Hospital, arm in arm with Dani, after my last treatment. April, 2006. If I could guess, I would say it was 4/27 at 4:29 PM. I'll check it later. I can't describe the feeling. We were done. We won. It had been such a long fight. It was such a satisfying victory. Quite and so dignified. We walked quietly, letter our minds absorb the moment and all the battles. How sure we were that I was done. How good that felt.


I'm not looking forward to the walk out tomorrow and I know Dani is not, either. But I don't regret my feelings. And will think the same thing in November. When we take that final walk out of chemo. We will celebrate our victory in silence again.


Peace.