Relief Turns To Depression [C]

Almost 2yrs since my Cancer roller coaster started and I've spent only a few nights in the backcountry. Now, with chemo starting up next week, I'll be lucky to get back out there before the Summer of '08. Three years wasted. Stressing these past 7 weeks, waiting for results/diagnosis/action, might have been my biggest mistake ever. And there was absolutely no reason to do it. I needed to get out there more than anything and I blew it. I hate myself for it.